Last week I had my live concert as I told you guys. It was the first “official LIVE concert” that someone actually reached out to ME to do, and it was a lot more people than I ever expected would show up. I felt “legit”. Like people are actually paying to come hear me sing!
But let me take you back a few months ago, to when I “actually” started performing, cause I want to share with you guys a bit more of the journey it took to get here.
It was a Saturday night. In my home. 7 people in total (all of who were my friends) whom I bribed to come and eat free pizza, “and by the way, also hear me sing for the first time”. That was my first “official” concert.
My second one was at a friend’s house. She invited a few more women (also my friends), and of course bribed them with food and a “social fun night”, and I managed to do another small concert for about 14 people.
Then after doing two “concerts” or whatever you call those, I felt brave, and decided to rent out a movie theater. Yes. During covid. They rent out movie theaters for $100 now, and I decided that was a good idea. I’m going to spare you the details, but it ended up that out of around 20 people who were supposed to come, only 3 showed up.
1 – the organizer
2 – my cousin
3 – my aunt
THAT’S IT. nobody else came to the theater.
A few people connected on zoom for a few minutes, but I had a huge theater. All to myself, my piano and my huge speaker. I felt TINY and like a failure.
My husband rushed home, brought a few of our kids, and even a friend of my daughter’s, and they tried to fill in the seats of the theater. yeah……….. it didn’t really help. It was shameful, embarrassing, mortifying. Whatever word you want to put in the blanks.
And familiar voices started going off in my head: You see? Nobody is interested in what you have to say. Just give it up. Play small and stay home with a regular life. Just keep to yourself. It’s so much easier. You don’t need this. You have your kids and husband and you’re healthy. You should be happy enough.
Well, thankfully (after a day or two of getting over the humiliating “theater episode”) I realized that these voices were “fears in my mind”. And that my heart still had a dream. And I chose to be led by it.
And that’s why last week was such a special moment for me. Cause this journey has been filled with moments like the “theater moment”. Moments where it’s way more comfortable to just give up. It’s soooo tempting.
But slowly I am proving to myself, that if you take one more step and one more step in the right direction, you WILL get closer and closer to your dream. All you have to do is to just NOT stop.
Thank you guys so much for your beautiful and encouraging support. I hope I can give you back somehow by inspiring you to also choose to follow the dreams in your heart despite the fears in your mind.
*(quote by: Roy T. Bennett)